My name is Lori Martini; I am a bereaved parent and Perinatal Bereavement Coach/Consultant.

In the year 2007, I coordinated a project called “Healing From The Start.” During the course of this project, I compiled feedback from bereaved parents who had endured the loss of a baby due to miscarriage, stillbirth or shortly after birth. Specifically finding out how they were cared for by medical & nursing staff during their loss.

With the feedback that I received from bereaved parents, I put together a manual to help (coach & empower) medical & nursing staff on how to better take care of bereaved patients (not just physically, but emotionally as well) in the moment that the loss of a family’s baby is occurring.

The intention of this manual is to support the medical community during an extremely difficult and sometimes disturbing part of their job. And in turn, this would benefit the newly bereaved families emotionally.

By having staff provide newly bereaved parents with exemplary grief care, this would help minimize the regrets of what the parents ‘did’ or ‘did not do’ with their baby during their time of saying hello and goodbye.

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Many bereaved parents, while in the middle of their tragedy at hospitals, are given the opportunity to name their baby, hold their baby, take pictures, get feet & hand prints, etc… But, due to being in shock, many parents do not do these things or do just the basics (usually out of fear and not understanding ‘why’they are being asked to consider making memories with their deceased baby.)

The proven result is, an overwhelming amount of bereaved parents end up spending the rest of their lives regretting having ‘not’ made special memories with their baby (and there is no going back in time.)

Parents who spend time with their deceased baby(s) and create memorial keepsakes tend to start the grieving process in a healthy manner (as this can be a very healing and precious time.) By having keepsakes of their beloved baby to take home bereaved parents now have something tangible to remember their baby by and it validates their parenthood (to themselves, as well as to the rest of the world.)

This manual can help medical & nursing staff learn to do more than just offer the parents the right to make memories with their babies. They would learn, from past bereaved parents, to go the extra step with their current bereaved patients and explain to them ‘why’ do the memorializing things that are suggested in hospitals.

This tiny step of explaining ‘why’ make memories is actually quite huge and can make all of the difference between a parent deciding to create memories with their baby or choosing not to. These cherished memories will be all that the parents have left of their baby.

Even though, without question, this is an extremely devastating time for bereaved parents. It doesn’t have to be made worse by having them not feel supported properly by medical staff. It can be a time of healing, love, honor and beauty. A time in which the parents are provided options, support and emotional tools to surround their baby with their love in a peaceful environment.

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I feel, this manual is powerful, but yet short enough for staff to read who are constantly dealing with lack of time to train on such matters as ‘grief care.’

My hope is that this free manual would be used nationwide by caregivers every time they are caring for a family who is enduring the loss of a baby.

Please note this manual is specifically for nursing & medical staff only, it is not intended for the newly bereaved parents to use.

The manual is to be considered a constant work in progress. As times change, it will be continuously updated to reflect the needs of the modern days. And it can also be modified for the use of each individual hospital or medical facility.

Again, the intention of using this manual is to support/empower the nursing & medical communities to better take care of newly bereaved parents. And even though emotions are high, by using the suggestions in this manual, staff can feel confident that what they are offering their patients will be authentic, supportive, compassionate care that will not only benefit their patients, but will benefit the medical staff as well.

What a healing feeling it could be for staff to know that they have given their very best and have helped newly bereaved families to “Heal From The Start.”

For more information or to discuss customizing this document for your facility, please feel free to contact me at LoriMartini@HealingFromTheStart.com Thank you in advance for considering using this piece in your already very inspiring work.

With Healing Wishes,
Lori Martini

** Download the Manual **
(Right Click and “Save As…” to download)

For more information or to discuss customizing this document for your facility,
please feel free to contact me at LoriMartini@healingfromthestart.com

Thank you in advance for considering using this piece in your already very inspiring work.